


Murder Games

by njostn



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Detroit: Become Human Fusion, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Andrew is Connor, Angst, Blood and Violence, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Dark, Dark Andrew Minyard, Deviancy (Detroit: Become Human), M/M, Mentioned Nathan Wesninski, Neil Josten is a Mess, Neil is Markus, POV Andrew Minyard, POV Neil Josten, Sad Ending, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, This isn't fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:28:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23763097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/njostn/pseuds/njostn
Summary: Neil is an Android. A deviant who just wants equality for his kind.Andrew is the famous deviant hunter who will stop at nothing to bring Neil in.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	Murder Games

**Author's Note:**

> okay do not read the ending and do not kill me, okay? i know you hate it and i'm sorry.  
> this turned dark as hell.

_“When are you leaving?”_

_Neil’s answer is clipped, “Soon.”_

_Neil untangles his arms from Andrew’s torso and rolls over onto his back. Staring at the ceiling, Andrew mumbles, “You’ve said that for the past three weeks.” Neil scoffs as Andrew pulls his hand to rest on top of where a heart should be beating. Andrew uses his elbow to support himself, glaring at Neil. “And if it doesn’t work?”_

_Neil rolls his eyes, leaning forward to give Andrew a slow kiss. “When have I ever let you down?”_

\- - -

Neil isn’t scared. He won’t allow himself to be. Not at a time like this. If it were up to humans, he wouldn’t even know what being scared felt like. Emotion is just a flaw in his coding, and he should be destroyed for such failure. Confusing and dangerous things, humans. Neil doesn’t hate them, although he should for all they have done to his people.

They use them for entertainment, creating games such as exy that only androids could ever play because of the dangers associated. They bet on their androids, training them and beating them to the ground to get what they want: fame, money, and new androids. It doesn’t matter, as long as the humans are on top. Androids are nothing more than slaves, lesser beings than humans. But Neil cannot sit by and watch it happen anymore. He had to make a move. He has to show the humans what they were doing wrong. He wasn’t afraid anymore. He was just angry; upset, furious, incandescent, enraged. He was without restraints, and he is going to show what androids deserve. 

They had given androids life, it was now time that they were given freedom. 

“Neil, we can’t kill any more people! We can’t be violent or they will kill us all. You know that!” Kevin yells. 

“This battle is not just black and white, it isn’t just violence or peace. I am trying to be peaceful, but I can’t control how the humans react to our words,” Neil explains softly. He is trying to make everyone happy. He’s trying to make it all work out. They want equality, he will get them equality. But these things require sacrifices, and Neil is willing to fight tooth and nail to get what he wants.

“Fuck off, Neil,” Kevin huffs, returning to his corner where he had sat all day. Neil tries to understand him. He tries to follow his advice, but all it ever does is show the weakness androids have. Their vulnerability, their inconsistencies. It’s just another way for the humans to turn them back into slaves.

Neil walks over to where Matt stands. “Neil! Hey, buddy. How’s everything going? Look, I know Kevin isn’t the easiest to get along with but-”

“Matt,” Neil interrupts, “they can’t expect us to stay silent. You know why I’m not listening to Kevin, right?” 

Neil’s gaze fell over Kevin, and he feels his confidence falter at the glare Kevin sends him. His serial number was still showing, although he had tried to scrape it off. Neil had found him with a knife held to his face, prying it off. “I’m not him anymore, Neil!” he had yelled when the knife was pulled from his shaking hands.

“I know you aren’t. We all know you aren’t. But you won’t be anything at all if you let yourself bleed to death.” Neil had held Kevin until his fists had unclenched and he had gone limp in his arms. “When this is all over, I’ll replace that number with something much better. How about that?”

Kevin had nodded, eyes closed and face relaxed. Neil hadn’t seen him that relaxed since.

“He thinks I’m going to get us all killed, Matt.” Neil put his head in his hands. “We’re all going to die if we don’t do anything!” 

Neil’s attention was drawn away from Matt’s pained expression by Allison’s concerned gaze. She rests her hand upon his head, sliding it down to his shoulder. “Neil, it’s time,” Allison says, hands soft against his shoulders, her words a harsh reality of what they were living. “You have to save us. Save Palmetto.” Neil nods, stepping forward to address the crowd of androids. “And Neil,” Allison says, pulling him back to face her. “Be careful. You’re making history.”

He had worked tooth and nail to get to Palmetto. Palmetto was a dingy place, an uninhabited university serving as a safe haven for androids, for deviants like him. He’d found refuge there; a family, a home. Palmetto was all he had left and he had to keep it alive for the people who were like him; past, present, or even future. 

Neil wasn’t the android people wanted. He was far from it. He had been used as a machine of killing by his father, but he got caught and he was driven to hell for answers. He hadn’t given them any. 

When the humans found out that an android was killing people, they were not as shocked as they were furious. Such vile acts could only come from an android, they said, not knowing that he had hated every tally mark that noted deaths he had caused. What an awful thing, they said- he couldn’t be allowed to exist anymore. It was that simple to them. But it wasn’t, because the first law of robotics was never meant to apply to anything that could feel. That was the whole point, right? Androids would never willingly harm a human unless instructed to, just as Neil had been. It wasn’t his choice. It wasn’t him. 

But no one ever listens to an android.

28 stab wounds and he was shut down. But they made a mistake. They always made mistakes. Neil got his second chance, and this time he was going to make the humans understand. They weren’t just robots that could be pushed around. They had emotions, they existed.

Neil’s thoughts are loud as he looks at all of the deviants in front of him. These are his people. He saw children, families, people who had nothing left. And yet they sat here and are willing to risk their lives.

“We can’t just sit by and watch them destroy our people,” he says to the hundreds sitting in front of him. His voice is strong but his hands are shaking. He wants to turn everything off to be the true leader they want him to be. They need someone like Kevin, headstrong and loud. Kevin always has a plan, even if it isn’t good. “I know it’s frightening, but we must take action. Our people are being slaughtered, and this will not be the end of us.”

This would be an uprising. Humans would accept their existence, and Neil would be the face of it all. There would be no more segregation and they would have equal rights. Androids would be treated as humans, no matter how hard they had to fight.

Because Neil isn’t alone. He has Kevin, Matt, Allison, and Dan. He has friends. He has his family.

Neil has an army and this is a revolution. 

This is _his_ revolution.

\- - -

It’s two days after their initial planning of their riot when Allison tells him something will happen. Like she said, there was a price on his head, and it seemed that everyone wanted to cash in the reward. 

He was hidden away in an abandoned apartment, the one that Kevin had helped scout out with him. He sat at the table and waited. There was finally a loud thump from the door being kicked in. _How eloquent_ , Neil thought. He didn’t move, instead waiting for the man to find him. He already knew who it was thanks to Allison’s heads up. He doesn’t know how she found out, but it doesn’t matter to him.

What does matter is the deviant hunter in front of him.

“I know who you are. You’re Andrew, aren’t you?” Neil stares at the blond man who entered his room. When Andrew doesn’t respond, Neil continues, “The famous deviant hunter. Doesn’t it upset you that you’re murdering your own kind?”

Andrew forces his expression to stay frozen, and Neil catches on. “That’s right,” he tsks, “you don’t feel anything! Just a mindless android like you’re programmed to be. What a shame.”

Andrew’s back straightens as he reaches for his gun. “I’ve been ordered to bring you alive. But if you don’t comply-”

“I know, Andrew. Tell me something,” Neil stands, pushing his chair away and stepping forward slowly, noticing how Andrew’s eye twitches the longer he speaks. “Tell me how it feels. Don’t you ever question why you do what you do? Isn’t it hard to watch everyone around you die when you could be helping them? Don’t you just want to go against orders?”

“Stop. My mission is to destroy you. I never fail my missions.” Andrew pulls his gun out and is aiming it at Neil. 

Neil isn’t scared.

Neil takes another step forward, and a whisper of emotion crosses Andrew’s eyes. “You can join me. Join us. We can provide everything you need. Palmetto it’s… It’s a safe place for everyone. Just like me and you.”

Andrew’s hand shakes with his voice, “I don’t want to. My mission is not to join you it’s-”

“Forget about your mission,” Neil says, voice low and deadly. “Think about yourself. What do you want, Andrew?”

Andrew swallows. “Nothing,” he says, tightening his finger on the trigger. “I don’t want anything but to take you in, alive or dead. You’re a danger to society, Nathaniel.”

Neil doesn’t flinch at the usage of his old name. He can’t move, it’s a sign of weakness. He has the upperhand here. “I can help you, Andrew. All you have to do is make the choice. Do you want my help or not?”

“I-” Andrew hesitates, arm swaying to the left as he fires. His aim was always impeccable, but he isn’t thinking about aiming, Neil realizes. The circular light on Andrew’s temple flickers, changing colors rapidly, fading in and out. Andrew’s arm falls, gun hitting the floor and knees collapsing. Neil picks him back up, staring into his eyes, “Glad to see you joined us.”

Andrew’s eyes widen, “They’re coming. For you. You have to get out of here.”

Neil looks at him in shock, “This is my home, Andrew. I can’t just leave.”

There was a loud conversation outside, and Neil grabs Andrew’s hand, changing his mind quickly at the sound of danger. “I know how to get out, but I don’t have anywhere to go where I won’t bring danger to those living there.” He’s thinking of Palmetto. If he went to Palmetto now, they would follow him and every android there would be dead in minutes.

Andrew follows Neil into the hidden passage through the closet. “I have somewhere,” he explains, jaw tightened. “You aren’t going to like it. Just… get us out of here and I can get us there.”

Neil wants so badly to question him, but his safety is priority to whatever Andrew is saying. Neil turns around, a finger to his lips to tell Andrew to be quiet. 

Once the two are outside and away from the talking people, Neil turns to Andrew. “So,” he starts, “what’s next?”

Andrew points behind Neil, and Neil turns slowly, still not trusting Andrew completely. “Is that yours?” he asks, gawking at the Maserati parked in the alley.

Andrew nods, getting in the car, looking at Neil through the windshield. He starts the car and Neil finally moves, snapping out of his stare as he gets in the passenger seat quickly. “Are you ever going to tell me where we’re going?” Neil asks as Andrew speeds down the road. 

Andrew grimaces. “I told you, you won’t like it,” Andrew says, deflecting the question. 

It’s a matter of minutes before Andrew pulls into the driveway of a worn down house. Neil shakes his head in protest. “No way am I talking to her. Andrew…” Neil drawls out, but his protests don’t work. Andrew is out of the car and knocking on the door. 

The door is opened seconds later, and a head of platinum hair peeks through. “It’s been awhile, Andrew. Who’d you bring this time?”

Andrew scoffs, “Renee, this is Neil. Neil, this is Renee Walker. She’s on our side.”

\---

_“Kevin, where is he?”_

_Kevin jolts, looking up at Andrew with wild eyes. “Why should you care? You weren’t here and we needed you._ _Neil_ _needed you.”_

_Andrew pulls his arm back to hit Kevin but drops it. This was pointless. He pushes past Kevin, asking anyone he sees if they can tell him where Neil is._

_And then he sees it._

_Well, more specifically, he sees the too bright blue eyes and the mess of auburn hair. He sees Neil._

\- - -

“Hey, Neil. It’s nice to meet you finally. Andrew here has been on your tail for such a long time, I knew it wouldn’t be long.” Neil stares at Renee, swallowing hard. She was unmistakably human, but she didn’t feel like it. “I’m sure you’re confused. Pl-” her eyes flick to where Andrew stands, and she readjusts slightly. “Come in. I’ve just made hot chocolate.” She leads them through the door, and then Andrew breaks away, going to another room while Neil follows Renee. She turns to him, “I’m sure you have questions, and I’ll answer all of them. Just sit and I’ll be there in a moment.” She pulls out a chair at the dining table and gestures for Neil to sit. He listens, eyeing her as she gets out three mugs. She stirs each steaming mug as she pours the dark liquid into it, and Neil appreciates her consistency. It’s oddly nice to have rhythm, a method to the action. 

He jolts as she turns quickly. “I’ll be back, I promise.” She grins at him, walking in the direction Andrew went. Neil ignores the hushed voices coming from them and instead looks around the room. It’s unexpected, truly. He had heard of Renee Walker, every android had. But he’s not sure the stories are true anymore. 

Renee Walker was the youngest officer in charge of android cases. Andrew Minyard was assigned to her to help with deviant control. She was known to be cruel, harsh towards androids, even Andrew himself.

Neil doesn’t believe that.

Renee comes back moments later, her conversation with Andrew over. Her face is flushed lightly, and Neil wonders if something is going on between them. He wants to ask, but that’s for later.

“Why are you helping us?” Neil asks when Renee sits across from him.

“Straight for the throat, huh? Same thing Andrew asked,” she says, pushing the mug towards him. “Drink,” she insists. She watches over the top of her own mug, taking her time. She finally sets it down. “I want to help because I have the leverage and I’ve seen firsthand what they do to your… people,” she hesitates, choosing her words carefully. “Thank you, by the way, for helping with Andrew. I was really hoping that would happen. I’ve put this act on for long enough.” She lifts her mug again, blowing on it, even though the heat is far gone now. “Tell me about your plan, Neil.”

Neil clears his throat, setting his mug down. “It’s been… difficult. I want to be peaceful but I have to show force. No one listens to us, and that’s what’s important. We want to be heard, but that isn’t happening and I’m starting to doubt if it ever will.”

Renee nods along while Neil speaks, tapping her short nails against the table. “I’ll say the same thing I said to Andrew: You want this. Actually, it sounds like you need it. But there are dangers. Are you afraid to die, Neil?”

Neil swallows and he hears Andrew walk up behind him. He shakes his head. He forces his voice to stay steady. “Not at all,” he says. “Death is a side effect to life.” Andrew’s hands land on his shoulders, and he jolts as if electrocuted. He looks up at him, eyes wide. “What the fuck was that?”

“You’re nervous, skittish. Helpful but also a weakness,” Andrew states simply, eyes scanning Neil slowly. He looks bored, but Neil knows better than to believe looks.

Neil scowls at Andrew, pushing his hands away. “Just stop, you don’t need to psychoanalyze me.”

“Actually, that’s why he’s here,” Renee chimes in. “I wanted his input. We can help you, Neil, but you have to trust us first.”

Andrew slides a chair next to him, sitting down and resting his chin on his palm. “What do you think? Willing to trust me?”

Neil hates his eyes and the way they look into him as if he knows more than he’s supposed to. “Fine,” Neil bites out, shutting everything out again. Andrew just looks at him and Neil does the same. He feels sluggish as he blinks, and he’s barely aware of Renee moving around behind them. 

“So tell me how Nathaniel Wesninski became Neil Josten so quickly,” Andrew starts, taking Neil’s mug and running his finger along the top. “Anything we should know?”

“I won’t say anything until you tell me why Renee is really on our side,” Neil pushes. 

Andrew leans back, crossing his arms over his chest. “That’s what you want? Fine,” Andrew agrees. “Renee Walker has never hated androids. She has always lived peacefully with them. But, as you know, others do not.” Andrew stops for a second, looking around the room before finally going back to talking. “Loved is a good word for how Renee felt about androids. She met one, a deviant. Changed her entire world.” Neil raises his eyebrow when Andrew stops talking. He knows of Renee Walker, but not this part of her. “Jean Moreau,” Andrew says darkly, and Neil shivers at the tone.

“Famous deviant,” Neil murmurs. “Killed by-”

“Nathan Wesninski. The Butcher,” Andrew nods.

Neil grimaces, “Don’t call him that. He doesn’t deserve a title.”

Andrew ignores him, but understands Neil’s comment and respects his wishes. “Now you understand her fascination with you. She hasn’t been the same since. She wants to see your father burn,” Andrew states, and Neil nods in agreement.

“So do I. The things he made me do are unforgivable by any God… If there is one,” he murmurs quietly. “I’ve killed 57 people. Well,” Neil thinks again, “33 people, 24 androids.”

“How’d you get away?” Andrew pries, not worried about Neil’s emotions. 

“28 stab wounds in a man does not gain you respect. They caught me, I was too fucked up for a factory reset so they sent me to a dump. Crawled my way through it and made my way to Palmetto. Found an old family friend there. My, uhm,” Neil stumbles over his words. “My father talked about Kevin going to Palmetto. I never thought he’d still be there. But he was.”

“If your father thinks you’re dead, why are you still hiding?” Andrew presses Neil to a breaking point. 

Neil stands quickly, chair tipping over, crashing onto the ground. “You have never met him,” Neil snarls. “You would never know what he was like, the things he made me do. I’m hiding because I don’t want to ever do it again. I never want to see his face ever again.”

Neil turns around, ready to run, but Renee is there. “You’re staying here tonight. No one will find you.” Renee puts her hand on his shoulder. “Unfortunately, you’ll have to share a room with Andrew. But it won’t be a problem, right Andrew?”

Andrew grunts in response. “Come on,” he mumbles, walking up the stairs slowly, Neil at his heels. “You answered my question even though you didn’t mean it. You should watch your temper, it’s dangerous.”

“It’s also helpful if you get the right person in a room with me,” Neil laughs dryly. 

Andrew grunts in response, opening a door on the left side of the hallway. He gestures for Neil to walk in first. “This is us,” he says, not bothering to say anything more before he sits on the bed. “Do whatever you want, just don’t bother me.”

“I’m talking to Renee,” Neil says, turning on his heel and going back downstairs. It’s easy to find Renee; she’s sitting in the kitchen, typing something on her laptop. She looks more relaxed than before, and Neil wishes he could feel the same.

“Renee?” Neil asks, making his voice as quiet as possible.

Renee looks up and gives him a welcoming smile. “Hey, Neil. Did you need something?”

Neil gives her a half smile, sitting down quietly. “Kind of. It’s troubling, though,” he admits.

“Oh? You have my full attention,” she says, pushing her laptop to the side.

“I’m sorry about Jean,” Neil takes a sharp breath, watching as Renee frowns slightly. “I know it’s not my fault. Not directly but… Why didn’t you tell Andrew?”

Renee smiles sadly at him. “Neil, if everyone was held responsible for their actions, I’m afraid this world wouldn’t be much better than it is now. You didn’t have a choice, and I understand that if you had, you wouldn’t have helped.” She bites the fingernail on her index finger, dropping her hand moments later. “What you are doing now is enough of an apology. Jean would be proud, just as I am.” Her words get quieter as she talks. “I am really sorry to end this so abruptly but I need to get to sleep and so do you. It’s a big day tomorrow.” 

When Neil tilts his head to the side in question, Renee just laughs. “I’ll make sure Andrew tells you in the morning. Now shoo.”

\---

_“He said he would be safe. He promised he would be safe,” Andrew cries as Renee holds him to her chest._

_“I know, darling. But some things just…” Renee stops. She reminds herself of what she wanted to hear after Jean. “Some people don’t understand and they never will, no matter how peaceful you are or how hard you try to get them to listen.”_

_Andrew’s eyes are closed now. “I just want him here again, Renee.”_

_“I know, I know. You aren’t the only one.” Renee’s fingers run through Andrew’s hair, soothing him with light touches._

_“Kevin was right, it should have been me.”_

\- - -

Neil wakes up to rapid footsteps coming from outside his-and Andrew’s- door. They get louder and softer in time and there’s a perfect rhythm. He looks next to him, and Andrew is nowhere to be seen. He peeks his head out just in time for Andrew to run into him. He doesn’t apologize when he hits Neil, instead starting a conversation. “Renee got called in. Said that you had escaped and they think they have a lead.”

Neil is silent. “And you aren’t with her. That’s not normal, is it?”

Andrew shakes his head. “But we have a plan. Renee Walker always has a plan.” 

“Can I know what the plan is?” Neil asks. Andrew turns and walks down the stairs, ignoring Neil’s question. Not surprising, but it pushes Neil over the edge. “If you wanted me here, you have to learn to-” He looks around in shock. A whiteboard is in the middle of the room, multiple things written on it and pictures taped to it. Notebooks are spewed out on every surface in the living room and there are two steaming mugs sitting on the coffee table. “Did you sleep last night?”

Andrew shrugs, “A couple of hours. The rest were spent doing this. I’d recommend you look at it.” 

Neil steps forward, eyes scanning the board in front of him. All of the faces on the board he recognizes. His mouth feels terribly dry as he runs a finger over the largest picture. “How’d you find them all?” Neil asks, not looking at Andrew. All of his father’s men and their locations were listed. All of their connections, crimes, murders, children, spouses. It was all right there. Neil stops in front of the right side of the board, stepping back quickly. “I thought she was dead?” Neil asks, voice shaking. 

“So did we. But some people are… unwilling to die,” he says, looking pointedly at Neil. Neil rolls his eyes looking back at the board. Once he’s taken everything in, he moves to the notebooks, where everything is written in much neater, organized writing. “That’s what I did this morning,” Andrew says, picking up one that was titled ‘Lola Malcolm.’ He hands it to Neil. “I know you have questions. I can try my best to answer them.”

Neil nods, flipping through the notebook absentmindedly. He sees Nathaniel appear multiple times in the first three pages. “She knows I’m alive,” he whispers, looking up at Andrew. “How does she know I’m alive?”

Andrew laughs dryly. “That’s where your friend Kevin Day comes in. Right,” Andrew flips through a few pages, stopping on one and showing it to Neil, “here.”

Neil’s eyes scan the page quickly. There isn’t much, but there’s enough for him to learn something.

**Kevin Day**

  * **Moriyama’s android (possibly still being tracked?)**


  * **Wesninski worked for Moriyamas**


  * **Possibly using Kevin to find N?**



There is a large ‘Yes’ written and circled next to the last note and it makes Neil shiver. “They’re seriously using Kevin to find me?”

Andrew takes a mug from the table, sipping it quietly. “That’s what we think. I’m about 97.3 percent sure about it, though.”

“I’m not getting rid of Kevin,” Neil says harshly, staring at Andrew with wild eyes.

Andrew shrugs. “Never said you had to,” he says, “but if it comes to that, are you willing to get rid of people for your cause?” Neil nods, not breaking eye contact with Andrew. “Good, because it’s time we start.”

\- - -

It takes three days for Neil to really trust Andrew. It takes practice, careful words and deflecting invasive questions. It takes three days of nothing but truths that make Neil’s skin crawl. He hates it, but he can’t help but want Andrew on his side.

“Tell me your plan again,” Andrew says that night while they’re eating dinner. Renee is out; She’s been out for the last two days on a business trip. 

Neil only stumbles over his words twice. “I’m going to let them know I’m here. Not _here_ , but I’m showing them I exist and that I’m not afraid.” Andrew stares at him, not speaking in an attempt to get Neil to explain more. “I’m going back to my apartment,” Neil says, shrugging.

“That’s suicide. You can’t go back there and expect to survive.” Andrew has stopped eating and is now just looking at Neil like he’s insane.

“It will work. I know it will.” Neil nods, convincing himself more than Andrew.

“When are you doing it?”

“Soon,” Neil shrugs.

\---

It takes three more days for Andrew to kiss Neil. 

Neil is talking about his past, listing off the people he has killed. His breathing is shallow and his vision is blurry but he pushes through. He has to.

Andrew’s hand is on the back of his neck and then his lips are on Neil’s, and everything else falls away. He closes his eyes and relaxes, falling into Andrew’s arms. 

“Why did you do that?” Neil asks, pulling away to look into Andrew’s eyes. He just shrugs.

“When are you leaving?” Andrew asks, pulling Neil to lie on top of him.

“Soon.”

\---

Neil had gone over his plan multiple times, whether out loud to Andrew and Renee or just in his head. It had to work. If it didn’t, he would be dead.

That night Neil is curled up against Andrew, running his hands through his hair.

“When are you leaving?” Andrew asks, leaning into Neil’s touch.

Neil’s answer is clipped, “Soon.”

Neil untangles his arms from Andrew’s torso and rolls over onto his back. Staring at the ceiling, Andrew mumbles, “You’ve said that for the past three weeks.” Neil scoffs as Andrew pulls his hand to rest on top of where a heart should be beating. Andrew uses his elbow to support himself, glaring at Neil. “And if it doesn’t work?”

Neil rolls his eyes, leaning forward to give Andrew a slow kiss. “When have I ever let you down?”

“If your father gets to you…” Andrew drawls off, eyes wandering over Neil’s face, over his scars.

“I know, Andrew. But he won’t. I promise.”

\---

Andrew stares down at the body below him, hands covered in blue blood. For the first time, it isn’t his. 

_This is your fault_ , Kevin’s voice whispers in the back of his head. _We needed you. He needed you. And where were you?_

Where is he? He can’t remember. He doesn’t know where he is or why he was there or when he got the blood on his hands or-

He stares down at the body. His mission was successful. The blood glistens on his hands in the moonlight. It’s not his. Why does he feel like he’s repeating himself?

“I thought you wouldn’t be able to do this, Andrew. I’m quite impressed.” The voice comes from every angle and Andrew doesn’t know where to look.

He looks up but all he can see is the body at his feet, the knife in his hand, the blood. It’s not his.

His head never moved and he didn’t look up. He keeps looking at the body. The blood changes colors. It’s not blue, it’s red. He killed a human.

Who did he kill?

 _You know who it was,_ Kevin’s voice says. _He needed you. Where were you?_

“Nothing was going to stop me from finishing my mission.” He didn’t say that. He didn’t move his mouth. But the words came anyways.

“Congratulations, Andrew.” Andrew’s head moves. When did he gain that ability? He nods his head without moving a muscle. He knows those eyes. “I have to say,” the woman says, “I liked your method. You got close to him first and then when he least expected it…” 

Her smile is vile and Andrew wants to run, he wants to leave. But part of him, the shockingly ugly part, basks in the praise, likes it enough to smile. “Thank you…”

“Lola.”

Andrew feels something tug in his mind, and he wants to pull at it, to see what it means. But as soon as he feels it, it’s gone. “I know you, don't I?” He knows a Lola. Why does she sound so familiar? He wants to run.

She- _Lola-_ licks her ruby lips. “What do you remember, Andrew?”

Andrew remembers the body. He remembers the shape of it. He remembers those hands, tangled in his hair, those lips against his. Did he kill him? No, he wouldn’t have. He can’t kill people.

There is blood on his hands. It isn’t his.

It will never be his.

“System reset, darling,” Lola’s voice rings through his ears. “Now, I’ll ask you again: What do you remember, Andrew?”

 _It should have been you._ Andrew’s head turns to the left. Whose voice was that? _He needed you, Andrew._

He was swaying now. Why was he swaying?

The voices get louder, he is swimming in the words. _He needed you he needed you he needed you he needed you._

**_You Killed Him, Andrew._ **

“Who did I kill?” he asks, turning wildly. There is no one there. Not even Lola. “Who did I-” he trips, falling onto his back. Something cracks and he looks up at the sky.

_Lightning._

“Where am I?” It wasn’t meant to be said aloud, but Andrew isn’t sure he’s in charge anymore. “Who are you?” He’s turning now, looking around. He looks down at his hands, spotless. There’s a surge of pain and his head is thrown backwards.

“Nice to see you’ve joined us again,” Lola says, her hand tight around his jaw. Her long nails dig into his skin. He hates it.

_Us? But there’s only her?_

_Be smart, Andrew,_ Kevin’s voice taunts. Kevin?

Andrew looks down. There’s a body at his feet and blood on his hands.

It isn’t his.

“It’s sad to see Junior won’t be joining us,” Lola tsks, her heel colliding into the leg of the body.

Whose body is that? Who did he kill?

“Stop thinking so hard, Andrew. You followed your orders, what more do you want?”

He wants to know who he killed.

He stares.

There’s blood on his hands.

“Who did I kill?” Andrew asks, looking at Lola. Except it isn’t Lola. “Who are you?” His eyes are familiar, but they’re not warm like the ones he knows. _Ones he knows?_

He smiles. It’s too sharp, a cutting grin, one that can kill.

“Who did I kill?” Andrew asks again, this time receiving an answer.

His hearing is gone, his head underwater, swimming with thoughts, with voices that aren’t his own.

There’s blood on his hands. It isn’t his.

**_He needed you._ **

**_Where were you?_ **

Killing him, the one who needed him most.

There’s blood on his hands and it will never be erased. 

It isn’t his, it’s Neil’s. 

He killed Neil.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading. i hope it wasn't too bad, whether to read or just emotionally tolling.  
> i know my writing is bad, it's okay.


End file.
